The Boy...

There is this guy that I have the biggest crush on. I know it seems silly to be a nineteen year old girl and say I have a crush. But this guy is so unbelievable. I’m usually great with writing, I’ve always had it to fall back on, always had the words to describe something or someone, but when it comes to him…I’m speechless. There is however a major issue at play here, he doesn’t know, actually very few people know, or at least that’s what I think is the case. With this guy, I don’t know where I stand, I’m usually able to read people, I’ve always had a good read on people that I’m around all this time. But with him, I never know. At one point he’s moody, and the next he’s thrilled with whatever is going on. Don’t get me wrong, I’m like this all the time, but I don’t know if I could be in a relationship with someone so similar in that area as I. Not that he and I are in a relationship, I don’t actually know how he feels towards me, but I know my feelings, and I know that if I pursue them and he feels the same, I have to worry about if it ends badly. Or, if I pursue it and he doesn’t even feel remotely the same way, I could end up heartbroken. It would then end up being really awkward between this guy and I, and I can’t stand that type of awkwardness. I know a way to test the waters, but the way to do that seems very junior high. Even in that I would have to let more people know about this guy, know his name and such, that’s more people that I have to trust to keep my secret. That’s just a few more people that I have to wonder if they’ll slip up and say something to the wrong person. I don’t want to see if he likes me through one person, who has to ask their best friend, who has to ask their ex boyfriends sister’s cousin…this isn’t really the case, but I wanted you to see how juvenile a situation I’m in. Anyone have some advice as to how to pursue this in an easy manner that doesn’t end with me crying into my blankets?

I do this to cope with crushes lol.

Charlie-looking at him you can see the darkest pair of brown eyes staring back at you. He had loved her forever, though she would never know. She wanted him, too. But he would never know. She looked to her left where he was standing, his plain white shirt pulling against a perfect set of abs that he hadn’t even worked for, on his left shoulder you could see lyrics to her favorite song tattooed on his perfectly tanned skin. When she looked back at his face she had realized that he was staring at her. He slowly made his way across the room, when he got to her he put his arm around her shoulders, it was meant to be a simple brotherly gesture, though it sparked feelings in both of them. He looked down at her, and his shaggy but maintained brown hair fell into his face, she reached up to move it out of his perfect eyes and let her hand linger on his jaw for just a moment; a slow smile crossed his face. He asked her where she wanted to go. The only place she wanted to go with him was his apartment. She would never be able to tell him that though. Instead, she asked him to take her to the concert that was happening in the coffee shop down the road…

Death of Charlie—He had to go to the mountains. He knew that would be where she was. She left him the note. It had to be her. No one else knew about their place in the mountains. Even though years had passed since they had met there to be together. A part of him even told him to stay home. He had a wife now, two kids that would want food soon. That’s the excuse he used-food. He said he would go grab some food to bring home after he got off. Instead, he got off early and started his drive up the mountains. He could just see her sitting there on the bench by the river, she was waiting for him. As he was caught up in his fantasies he didn’t notice the large rock in the middle of the road. Coming back to reality he swerved trying to miss it. His car flew off the edge of the road, coming to a final stop in between to boulders. He died with the memory of the girl he was going to meet again. Though the girl that sent him the note had been his wife, she had found out about this girl. She had set the trap. He could have died an adulterer; instead, he died with the thoughts of a girl whom he had once loved and will never love again.