The Boy...

There is this guy that I have the biggest crush on. I know it seems silly to be a nineteen year old girl and say I have a crush. But this guy is so unbelievable. I’m usually great with writing, I’ve always had it to fall back on, always had the words to describe something or someone, but when it comes to him…I’m speechless. There is however a major issue at play here, he doesn’t know, actually very few people know, or at least that’s what I think is the case. With this guy, I don’t know where I stand, I’m usually able to read people, I’ve always had a good read on people that I’m around all this time. But with him, I never know. At one point he’s moody, and the next he’s thrilled with whatever is going on. Don’t get me wrong, I’m like this all the time, but I don’t know if I could be in a relationship with someone so similar in that area as I. Not that he and I are in a relationship, I don’t actually know how he feels towards me, but I know my feelings, and I know that if I pursue them and he feels the same, I have to worry about if it ends badly. Or, if I pursue it and he doesn’t even feel remotely the same way, I could end up heartbroken. It would then end up being really awkward between this guy and I, and I can’t stand that type of awkwardness. I know a way to test the waters, but the way to do that seems very junior high. Even in that I would have to let more people know about this guy, know his name and such, that’s more people that I have to trust to keep my secret. That’s just a few more people that I have to wonder if they’ll slip up and say something to the wrong person. I don’t want to see if he likes me through one person, who has to ask their best friend, who has to ask their ex boyfriends sister’s cousin…this isn’t really the case, but I wanted you to see how juvenile a situation I’m in. Anyone have some advice as to how to pursue this in an easy manner that doesn’t end with me crying into my blankets?